My son, your brother

My son, your brother

I don't know how to say it
The feeling that I have
The son I wanted is dead
And you are my wife's child
I try not to resent that
And I am not angry at you
I loathe the current situation
And miss the child I was to hold

I see you hug your mother
Comfort and concern
I know it is because you love her
At least that is what you said
And my child is contained
Within a bronze box
Never will he hug me
Never say I love you dad

It is not fair for me to be jealous
When I see the other parents
Stroll with the children that lived
I should be grateful they are not in pain
But anger wells within me
Why was my son the one to die?
How will I comfort and nurture a baby
When he is not there for me?

My arms are empty of the love
I sought and waited on
Who could ever replace that person
No one
So when I look a little funny, sad and down
Know that I am in process
Of grieving my little one
I don't mean you any pain

I appreciate you hugs and kind words
They calm the rougher tides inside
Reminding me that I am loved
By more than the one who died

Can I give you a hug to show I know
And can I get a hug to let me know you know
Together we can make it
As we remember together my son
And your brother.